Holding on to Old Wounds

Forgive…not just people, but yourself. You have to let the burden of old pains go. We are all human so we make mistakes…be gentle with yourself, and be gentle with others. Eventually these past hurts create weight in the mind, becoming heavy mental clutter. Lighten your load. Stop holding on to those grudges.

Everyone deals with this whole forgiveness thing in their own way. For me, every thing that people do creates a picture of their character. Bit by bit the image begins to show. Based on the image unfolding I determine the role that individual will play in my life. The biggest thing for me is understanding the individual. Once I know that, behaviour is not surprising, so I rarely get upset. You are just behaving true to form. Developments in your life have shaped you into who you are and unless you are seeking radical transformation, you are who you are.

Now, who an individual is may not align with what grants me peace in life…it’s here where I determine how deep I want that interaction to be. If someone has hurt me in the past, or treated me poorly I am able to look past it; I don’t carry that weight. I can be polite and interact…but it is unlikely I will be inviting them for afternoon tea as the nature of their character still doesn’t quite align with mine. If their actions show a change in behaviour I am fully open to repainting the picture.

So mentally with people I let everything go; I don’t seek revenge; I don’t wish them poorly. I just carry on. Many might say true forgiveness requires forgetting everything as well…perhaps reinstating an individual to the position they once held in your life. Unless I see a behaviour change that looks like a permanent character adjustment, that’s not something I do, as that can lead to erosion of my peace. But allowing past hurts to swirl in my head, that erodes my peace too so I let them go.

I forgive myself for any poor reactions, noting fully well who I am as an individual may also not align with others and they too might seek to distance themselves from me. It’s fine; that is their right as well. But don’t beat yourself up about these things…if it’s not a natural alignment, it’s not a natural alignment. Where you align naturally, things will flow a little easier.