Dealing with Difficult People…

So often I speak about walking away from people when they threaten your vibe or energy…but what happens when you can’t walk away, when circumstances demand interaction…e.g. I manage a team of people I inherited; I have to interact…and despite whatever thoughts I may have on someone’s character I have to be fair to every individual…but as I said before you often know what you are dealing with, so much should not catch you offguard and you tailor your responses to protect your peace. Never let someone take so much control that they drag you into something where you are reacting quickly without thought…you control your reactions…I’m not saying this is easy; sometimes people tell me things and I feel the fit of fire rise through me…I don’t give it an immediate reaction…I take a deep breath (sometimes a deep breath can help so much because it gives a moment’s pause) and then I respond…one or two difficult people are manageable…a constant onslaught may be a case for changing your environment…

Dogs Bark…

Why are you complaining day in day out? You made the decision, whether it be for love, for money, for comfort, for fear. You made the decision to stay in your circumstance so why do you complain when indviduals behave true to their nature. Are you surprised? If you’ve made the decision, own your choice. Recognise that this is what comes with it. If it’s too much change it. You would be way more productive finding solutions than complaining about life…you really shouldn’t buy a dog and complain every day when it behaves like a dog…

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You are Worthy

I spent a lot of time thinking about this before posting. I think our confidence comes heavily from the stories we quietly tell ourselves; its basis is found in our thoughts, which we derive from our experiences…things our parents told us as children that we carry through life, that we were told perhaps by peers when we were younger…we begin to form these stories and beliefs about ourselves…(oftentimes making them self-fulfilling prophecies.)

Confidence I think is easy when you see evidence of your success – projects you embark on are successful, you can afford all the material things you need, you get lots of attention from whatever sex you are attracted to, people naturally show you a level of respect…your parents often told you and maintain how amazing you are…who wouldn’t have high self worth in a situation like that…

But what happens when life just isn’t going your way? If you were scoring baskets all the time then suddenly you consistently missed you may begin to question your ability to score…how do you feel confident when life is throwing you beating after beating…

The strongest people I know are the ones who can still keep telling themselves a positive story even when the immediate evidence does not support. By now you should note a trend with my words. Let’s break this down:

1) External Validation – if you are continuously seeking the approval of others to validate your worth you will always have a problem. The day that approval doesn’t come you will feel unworthy. You need a strong internal belief in your own self worthiness.

2)Your thoughts – you have to be your greatest champion. If no one else will cheer for you; you have to cheer for yourself. If you keep telling yourself you are a loser you most certainly will be. If you are going to tell yourself anything, you might as well make it a winning story.

3) Comparisons – Stay in your lane and stop minding other people – your path is your path. You do not know the intricacies of other people’s lives. You do not know the stories they are telling themselves. Don’t compare yourself to the best parts you see of others. Walk your path.

4) Self Compassion – be gentle with yourself; no one is perfect. We can sometimes be our own harshest critics. You will mess up, that’s fine, that’s life.. forgive yourself, let go and move on…

Know as you exist; you are worthy.

Happiness…

What will it take to make you happy?

Most people answer this question not from a place of deep introspection but from what feels like their greatest need at the moment…what you feel deprived of always feels like your greatest need and the thing that will bring you happiness…you get it and suddenly it didn’t bring the waves of delight about life that you expected. Soon, another need moves up and you think, nope I got it wrong last time, I now know what it takes to make me happy…same thing happens…think, if I had more money, if I only had a car…if only I had my own home, if only I had a significant other, if only I had more importance/power in society. Many people have these things and they are STILL unhappy. So what the hell is it??

I think when you are conscious of your character, motives and desires (self awareness) and fully accept yourself (self acceptance) you reach a level of intrinsic happiness that is less dependent on external forces…(high self awareness meets high self acceptance) external forces can create spikes of highs and lows but they do not affect so significantly that they veer you far from your trend line.

May you find your happiness in life

Plan…

One of the biggest decisions of my day is deciding what I’m going to work on…what will push my objectives ahead granting me the greatest return on time invested. I have come to realise that I can only realistically work on a few major things in day so I plan accordingly knowing the rest of the day will get caught up with the minutiae. That’s fine; that’s life…but I know at the end of the day I’ve accomplished what I needed to. Plan so you don’t have to cut 3 times.